Life lessons that my mom taught me

Full disclosure, this article (as the title suggests) will not discuss any sports whatsoever. My plan is to get back to doing what I love to do (sportswriting) soon enough; however, today I feel called to use my Sports Beacon platform as a personal healing opportunity. My mom unexpectedly passed away three months ago due to complications in surgery. She was one of my best friends, a fantastic mother, & a wonderful person on the planet. Writing about my mom won’t be an easy task for me personally, but here goes nothing. Without further ado, here are several important life lessons that my mom taught me.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s fear

I remember hearing my mom discuss this topic for the first time & being perplexed; however, upon hearing her motivation & reasoning behind her opinion it made sense. You see, there’s a very thin line between love & hate that is oftentimes tough to define. In the wise words of Joey Tribbiani, “you can’t even see the line, the line is a dot to you.” My mom went on to explain that since there’s such a close relationship between love & hate, these terms are not really opposites at all, but instead two sides of the same coin. She went on to define fear and note that you simply cannot love what it is that you fear. Fear is dangerous, and it can trigger “fight, flight, or freeze” mechanisms in our bodies. Also, a person’s behavior changes when confronted by someone or something they fear. Fear is detrimental to a person’s conduct & behavior, and it is the polar opposite of love.

Love is showing interest

My mom showed that she loved my brother & I very much in a variety of different ways. One of the ways that she showed her love for us was by taking interest in our interests. She knew who all of my friends were growing up, which TV shows that I was watching at any given time, and which activities that I was participating in all throughout my life. The same goes for my brother Matt, as we were both spoiled in having her as our mom. This is because she cared, and when you love someone, you care about their wellbeing. Her vast knowledge of our favorite things, hobbies, activities, & interests was uncanny. That’s why my mom was also the BEST at giving presents for Christmas & our birthdays. There’s nothing that says “I love you” more than showing your loved one that you care.

Love is spending time

Mom & I spent a lot of time together during the Covid lockdown, as she was working from home as a counselor while I was laid off from my job as a production assistant. Neither of us went anywhere during this time period due to fear of catching the virus. Fortunately for us, we loved spending time together watching TV shows & hanging out. So that’s what we did for over a year, and looking back now I’ll cherish that time forever. There were times where we just about drove each other crazy being cooped up in the house together 24/7, but true love is about spending time together in adverse situations. Life is hard, and spending time with your loved ones helps you pull through adversity.

Be very careful-a!

Don’t ask me why she always added an extra “a” after the word “careful,” but before I drove off to work, school, or anywhere else she always gave me one simple message before I headed out, “you be very ‘careful-a’, stay safe, & text me when you get there.” Later on, she explained that my brother & I were like pieces of her heart walking around on the planet, so she just wanted us to stay safe, be happy, and enjoy our lives. Unfortunately, I finally broke this rule after 28 years due to a car accident back in July. Thankfully, the other driver & I were okay, though my car was totaled in the process. My feeling is that my guardian angel from up above was watching over me that day.